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Tactical Living

Jul 29, 2019


911, what’s the nature of your emergency? 


Ashlie: Welcome back to another episode of tactical living by Leo warriors. I'm your host, Ashlie Walton. 

Clint: And I’m your co-host Clint Walton. 

Ashlie: For today's episode I want to talk about what guys really think about the amount of effort that girls put into themselves in order to look pretty. So just sit back, relax and enjoy the content. Clint and I just got back from a little mini trip to Las Vegas. And while we were there, I couldn't help but notice how many sore feet there were. And I say this from a place of me sitting at a machine and instead of paying attention as I’m pressing the button, I was looking at the feet and most importantly the area of the Achilles tendon.


For any girls listening you know that area that rubs like crazy on the back of a high heel. I saw girls with bandages. I even saw men with like sores behind their feet. And it's kind of funny because it brought me back to a place where that used to be me. I used to be the girl thinking that going to Vegas meant that I needed to get all dolled up in a way that made me think I looked pretty. But in reality, also made me really uncomfortable. And as I started noticing this it's one of those things where your attention starts to be directed to it more and more. So as the night went on and girls started to come out in their cute little black dresses, I started to notice the way that a lot of them were walking and coming from a girl's perspective it's something I can definitely relate to and understanding how uncomfortable it is to walk in high heels or these five inch wedges and they looked cute don't get me wrong.


But just by seeing the discomfort of them walking while they're trying to enjoy themselves, made me wonder what men actually think when us as women put forth so much effort, but yet we're not comfortable in what it is that we're walking around in or how we look even. So baby share with me maybe from your perspective how you feel or even how you felt when that would be me going to Vegas.

Clint: You know I think a lot of it comes from that sex appeal. You know men and women both want to have that sex appeal if they are going to the club or they want to have that feeling of looking good to appeal to whoever they're trying to appeal to. And I noticed too you know you always see women walking around the strip or just walking around hotels barefoot with their heels in their hands and it's a funny sight to see because you know they absolutely had to be uncomfortable the whole night they're wearing them.


How many times you see you guys walking around holding their shoes. It's not very often at all. But I think it all goes into that basic nature of us trying to peacock ourselves to show the opposite side of the sex or whoever you're trying to appeal to have that look. And I think it's something that we all have this appearance that we feel we need to keep up. But it really doesn't settle into our own happiness levels of what we want.

Ashlie: And also it boils down to where you're at in your life, I believe. Because in the beginning of our relationship I would get all dolled up, wear these completely ridiculous uncomfortable shoes and I would pretend like I’m enjoying myself when in reality I was suffering in pain based on my choice of attire or my shoe choice and then I got to this place where we got married of course and you get more comfortable with one another. And I don't want to say I’ve ever gotten to the point to where I don't put forth the effort to look good for you.


Clint: Absolutely not. You look beautiful every day.

Ashlie: Thank you baby. But to be honest Clint I don't do that for you. I love doing makeup. It is a craft of mine. And for me every morning it's always been something that I do that's very therapeutic for me. It might sound funny as you're listening to this, but there's something about this methodical nature of applying makeup and color combination and blending different products and just testing to see what works together and what doesn't. And it's just always been an interest of mine. I’m sorry baby, but this is the truth. I never wonder what Clint’s going to think about my eyeshadow today. 


Clint: But I always recognize it and I do notice it. Because I love the time you spend on your makeup and how beautiful you look with or without the makeup.

Ashlie: I appreciate that. But the truth is I don't do that to become more appealing for you. I do it to become more appealing for me. It makes me feel good and it makes me know that I’m wearing my face out in the world in a way that makes me comfortable and I don't ever do it to impress anybody. I don't go on wearing like chunks of glue and glitter to make my eyelids stick together to where it's uncomfortable. I have done that before. Maybe for an event and things like that.


But I’m never doing something to where I need to put forth enough effort to make myself look good for somebody else. And on the back end of that where I’m suffering inside. But for women it's tricky. For women it's tricky because we're constantly flooded with this imagery of what perfection is supposed to be. Especially as a young mind being developed. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to be my 13-year-old self in today's world. Where my influence is not the Pop magazine anymore. That's what I used to be. I used to have these collages of pictures and boys and, you know boy bands up on my wall in my bedroom. And the influence truly was MTV, music videos and those magazines I used to beg my mom to buy whenever we would go to the grocery store.


But today the level of influence especially in the eyes of this younger generation, it's getting so much more difficult to emulate and as a byproduct of that, it's becoming nearly impossible to develop your own identity. 

Clint: And I agree with that from a male perspective as well. I think men have this image that they want to present themselves with. Whether it's having a very muscular body and I’m not just saying being in shape or being fit. I'm saying this appearance of having huge muscles in this Statue of David image about themselves where they are comfortable walking around with their shirt off and having their muscles all exposed and not showing their true selves of what who or what they are.

Ashlie: Don't get me wrong. These people that put forth the effort in a natural way to develop those body is for the most part, a lot of them, these are like athletes or these are people to where their bodies are their career and the time that they spend on their bodies is time that a lot of people don't have the luxury of, because a lot of people work a 9 to 5 job. But getting back to the topic of perception. How do you view, as a man, looking at those other men? Does anything ping at you when you see them?

Clint: Well it makes me feel like I want to have that image of myself. Whether it's super muscular or just fit and it's just that stigma that's around it to where I’m more attractive for you. And I think in realizing that, it's something that we all have this image of who we want to look like or who we want to be to fit society's image of what we're supposed to look like.

Ashlie: Why is that so important?


Clint: It's just what we've been groomed into thinking men and women alike.  This is the image that we're supposed to be. You see movie stars, you see athletes, you see all these really public figures and that's the state of their success you feel, and I don't care who you are, everybody wants to have that level of success in their own lives.

Ashlie: It's interesting you use the word success. So for you as a man seeing another man that maybe makes you feel a little inferior based on the comparison and body type. That's really the same thing that women go through when it comes to comparing themselves to other women. Being at the clothes that they wear, their body type, how much they weigh, the makeup that they wear. Like for women it goes on and on. For men it's pretty much your body and your clothes really. And there's this compounding effect on women where that level is never met. And I know for me one of the biggest things and I’m definitely subject to that, but it's definitely taken a lot of self-work.


Really, stemming from the fact that I grew up in a home with five brothers, me being the only girl. My mom was a very modest mom in a home. And that was her whole world. So she didn't really care about makeup and clothes and things like that. It's was most comfortable for me to be a mom and work in the home and you know drive her kids everywhere and all these things that she did for us. So I didn't have anyone else to look up to in that sort of influence and it was important for me as I got older to understand that what I thought was a positive influence in terms of how I felt about myself shouldn't have ever come from media at all.


And I was very very blessed to have parents that were so supportive and really instilling the fact that I need to discover my own voice and do what values myself and never let anyone walk all over without or take that away from me…that I began to understand as I got older, the importance of doing the things that make me happy and make me comfortable. Going to Vegas couple days ago I’m wearing you know workout pants, a t shirt and sure I may doll up my makeup and my hair. But I do that every day. That's something I do for me; I don't do it for anybody else. And by having the ability to understand that, you're allowed to make your own decision about what you deem to be your own perfection based on your own comfort level. Then it allows you to challenge yourself to be creative and discover who you really are. 

Clint: And really establish the fact that it's okay to be who you want to be. 

Ashlie: I love that, and I think it's becoming a little bit more brought to the surface. I've seen a lot of campaigns where women will not wear any makeup at all and I have an amazing niece who very humbly posted her bare skin, acne and all with these beautiful, beautiful eyes with the most gorgeous eyeshadow on just showcasing the reality about what happens underneath all of that. What happens underneath all the makeup and the clothes, when it's just you and who you really are and to still be accepted for that.


And I think people will relate to that even more. People start to understand that we're all human. We all at one point or another think that we're in this race with everybody else when the reality is that we're only in a race with the person that we were yesterday and when you're able to realize that and you understand that, it's okay to not have to be that girl walking down the Vegas strip with blood coming out of your heels and the man at the gym who's satisfied with looking at himself in the mirror without having the wandering eyes that then allow you to compare yourself to other people.


Then you can start to take ownership of what you have and make it better. Better not by a comparison of other people, but better like I said, to who you were yesterday and in moving forward and looking at what it is that you want to be. Understanding how you feel is really what's most important. Do I want to sit there and feel ashamed about my body, ashamed about who I am as a person? Do I want to feel bad about myself because I don't live up to this other imagery of somebody else? Well those expectations are only yours. So who cares? And when you're able to understand that and take ownership of who you are and know that you have the ability to craft your own reality based on what makes you most comfortable and what allows you to stay most true to yourself,  then you're really able to enjoy your tactical living.


Balance. Optimize. Tactics. 

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