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Tactical Living

Apr 22, 2024

Welcome to a new episode of the Tactical Living Podcast, How to Identify a Toxic Police Wife (or Husband). In today’s discussion, we delve into a sensitive yet critical aspect of relationships in law enforcement families: avoiding toxicity that can undermine partnership and family unity. A particular focus will be on a scenario shared online by a police wife, which has sparked a broader conversation about family dynamics when one spouse is in law enforcement.

Coach Ashlie Walton and Sergeant Clint Walton discuss a recent post by a police wife, which featured her and her child along with the caption: 'Raised 2 babies while working full time without any help while my officer worked night shift, mandatory OT and SWAT.' This statement, although perhaps intended to express pride and resilience, sheds light on underlying issues that many law enforcement families face but rarely discuss openly.

This kind of statement can be harmful as it implies that the non-officer spouse is shouldering the bulk of domestic and parenting responsibilities alone. It suggests a division in the family where the working hours and demands of law enforcement are viewed not as a shared challenge but as a burden that one partner must compensate for. This can foster resentment and a feeling of isolation for both partners.

We explore why this mindset is toxic for relationships:

Resentment Buildup: Constantly framing family duties as the domain of one partner can create lasting resentment, both for the spouse who feels overburdened and for the officer who may feel undervalued for their sacrifices.

Undermining Teamwork: Successful family life, especially in law enforcement, should be based on teamwork. When one partner takes all the credit for family management, it diminishes the contributions and sacrifices of the other.

Stress Amplification: This dynamic can increase stress levels for both partners, leading to more significant personal and familial strife.


This episode highlights the importance of recognizing when certain behaviors or statements may be toxic and taking proactive steps to address them. It's crucial for law enforcement families to work together to balance life’s demands, appreciating and supporting each other's roles fully.

If you find yourself relating to today’s topic, or if you’ve successfully navigated similar challenges, we’d love to hear your story. Share your experiences and strategies in the comments section below. Subscribe for more episodes that help you navigate the complexities of life in law enforcement, and check out our resources for building stronger family support systems. Together, let’s strengthen our relationships and improve our home lives for all family members.

All viewpoints discussed in this episode are for entertainment purposes only and are simply our opinions based off of our own experience, background and education.

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